Thursday, February 26, 2009

Donuts with Dad



Today, Josie's preschool has their annual 'Donuts with Dad' breakfast. From 8:30-9:00 AM they will share breakfast with all the other kids and their Dads (or Grandparents, Mom, etc). Josie was very excited. Last night she practiced introducing her Dad to her friends... "Emma, this is my Dad. His name is James." She also practiced shaking hands and saying "It's very nice to meet you."

Josie will soon be 4 years old. It is amazing to see the changes in her over the past year. She totally cracks us up. She sits at the dinner table and starts off with "So, Dad, how was your day?" She talks with her hands, which is incredibly funny to watch. Her two favorite things to say are "I'm just kidding!" and "Are you joking me?!"

The other night, James tripped over a pair of Josie's shoes (which are EVERYWHERE!) and yelled, "Josephine, pick up your shoes!" She responded, "Dad, I'm just a little kid, you don't have to yell!" Looks like I have a handful with that one!

Maddie is in her third day of conditioning in preparation for soccer try-outs next week. She has come home each night with bruises and muscle aches. She does her homework, takes a hot bath with epsom salt and goes to bed. At least she's not on the computer all night...! She is happy though. Quite a few of her girlfriends are trying out for the team, so she's really looking forward to playing. I'm pretty confident she'll make the team. She's been playing soccer since she was 5 years old. Maddie has a March birthday, like Josie. So, she'll be turning 15. I have no idea where the time has gone. She now towers over me, constantly calls me 'shawty' and when she's aggravated with me she says "yes, Mother". Arggggg! I feel old!



Until next time...

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Winter Formal and A Baby Shower



Our dreary winter weekend was brightened substantially by two wonderful events. On Saturday morning, my friend Sharon and I hosted a baby shower for two of our preschool Moms. Both Moms are having their third child - and both are due on April 10th! Patty will be having her third daughter and Rebecca will be having her second son. It was very easy to tell which presents belong to each of the girls, as we all color-coded our gifts with the traditional pink & blue.

The baby shower was, by far, the most wonderful event we've had in this house. As I have stated before, the preschool Moms are an incredible group. They are so relaxed, friendly, and talkative... our time together as a group always goes by quickly. As far as hosting went, that too was a joy. Sharon wrote the invitations, coordinated who would bring what dishes, and kept the RSVP list. All I had to do was make sure the house was clean, the dogs were locked away, and that we had extra champagne on hand. What could be easier?! Here's what the table looked like once everyone brought their dishes:





Here's Rebecca opening one present: a hand made set of baby booties and hat.


Here's Patty with a gift from Joseph's Mom, Patricia:


And, Here's both of the girls enjoying the bounty:


It really was a lovely morning with the ladies. As the last of the dishes was being cleared, James returned home with the girls. He had taken them out to "look" at car and ended up purchasing a BMW convertible!! This will be Maddie's car when she starts driving next year. Until then, her Dad will road-test it! (But, more on that in the next post...) I finished the clean-up with the help of Sharon and Jamie - and hightailed it with Maddie to the hair salon. She was getting primped for her first High School formal - the Winter Formal.

Maddie's friend, Alex, arrived around 5 and then I took the girls to another friend's house. The girls were joining a larger group for dinner before the dance. Maddie looked just lovely in the dress that her Grandmom selected for her:

(Maddie on the left, Alex on the right)


And, of course, no photo session is complete without Josie getting in on the act! So, here's Josie with the girls before their departure:


It was a wonderful, stress-free Saturday. I wish all days would go so smoothly and be so enjoyable!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Exploring the Past



I have been quite busy. since the New Year, with a new project. I was quite intrigued late last year when my dear friend, Marty, told me about her new found hobby of genealogy research. I knew that one of my uncles, Joe, was a genealogy buff and had done research on part of our family tree. My Aunt Kathleen, Joe's wife, died in 2001, so I never saw the product of that research.

Most of my family history has been dispensed in short, verbal clips. A story here or there about a grandparent I didn't know and such. I remember some of those stories, but some are starting to fade. I decided to follow Marty's lead and investigate, to the best of my ability, both the maternal & paternal sides of my family tree. I hope that my research will provide enough material to produce a small book for my nieces and nephews - so that they won't have to rely on my memory (or my siblings' memories) for clues to their past.

I should begin with a short explanation. Both my parents come from unconventional family backgrounds. My father was raised by a single parent, my Grandmom Kathleen. His older brothers were also responsible for his care, as my Grandmom always worked, and worked hard, to provide for her 5 children. My Dad has only fleeting memories of his own father, and has no interest in learning more about the man.

My Mom, Barbara, was born and raised in Quebec, Canada. She was one of two daughters. Her father was 53 years old when she was born. She never had a good relationship with her mother. She left Canada in her early 20's to marry my Dad. They made their home in Philadelphia, where my siblings and I were born. We took trips up to Canada to visit my Mom's family on a yearly basis until her Dad died. One visit, in 1974, was our last. I knew as little about her family as I did about my Dad's.

I always believed that our ancestry was Irish, at least on my Dad's side. My Mom wasn't sure about her own parents, except that her Dad had emigrated to Canada from England. I had few clues to work with, but it was my Mom's side of the family that produced the largest amount of traceable leads.



My maternal Grandfather, Edward, emigrated to Canada from Cotishall, Norfolk, England. He was a decorated solider in World War 1. I was able to trace his ancestors back to the late 1700's in Kilmarock, Aryshire, Scotland. The trail goes cold there. That ancestor, Hamilton, would have been my great, great grandfather. My Grandfather was one of 10 children. His father and brothers were 'wherrymen' who worked the barges on the rivers surrounding Norfolk, England.

My maternal Grandmother, Margaret, came from a long line of Murphy's. They were members of the first English speaking parish founded in Quebec, St. Patricks. As you can tell by the name, the parish was founded by Irish immigrants. The Canadian government did not hold official vital statistic documents until the late 20th century. The church was responsible for those documents - and the Canadian government has done an excellent job of indexing and photocopying those records and making them available on-line. I was able to trace my Mother's ancestors back to my Great, great, great, great grandfather, Patrick, who emigrated from Ireland to Canada sometime in the early 1800's. Those ancestors were 'cordonniers' - shoemakers - for at least 3 generations.

I'm hoping that now that I have the lineage down, I can fill in the blanks with historic photos and records. This will no doubt be a challenge, as my ancestors were regular working folk.

My Dad's side of the family remains a mystery. I have located and sent away to Sheffield, Yorkshire, England for my paternal Grandmother's birth certificate. I'm hoping this gives me some clues as to where to hunt down her family. I do know that my Grandmother had 3 sisters and 3 brothers. Her father and brothers all worked in the 'mills'. First, the paper mill then the steel mill. An entry in the 1930 US census, recorded when my grandmother and grandfather lived in Philadelphia, lists her father as being 'English' and her mother as being from the 'Irish Free State'. Those are the only clues I have thus far. I was able to find the record of her emigration from England in 1921. She was only 15 years old when she arrived in Philadelphia.

As far as my paternal grandfather goes, we know only that he was a carpenter from Culdaff, Donegal, Ireland. My Uncle Phil visited with some family members in Ireland in the 1980's. I don't know how much information he has regarding the lineage. I do know that my ancestors have run a tavern in Donegal for a few generations. My Dad does not have high hopes for me in turning up much more... we will have to see.

In addition to taking on this research, I've been working on producing my 2008 family scrapbook. I have gone digital, using the iBook feature inside of iPhoto, to create this years book. While I did enjoy going to crops and spending time with my scrapping friends, I was getting too far behind. I was focusing more on the look of the pages than I was in journaling and recording facts for the girls. It's important to me that they be able to look back and see how much they weighed when they were 3 years old, or what they were for Halloween on a given year.

That's what's been going on here. All this stuff has been squeezed in while Josie has been down with a cold, which seems might be turning into strep throat. We'll find out today when she visits her doctor. Maddie has to have a sports physical tomorrow afternoon. She will be trying out for her high school soccer team starting March 2nd. We're still trying to figure out the logistics of picking her up from practice... her school is 25 miles away from our home. And finally, icing on the cake this week... I was eating a bagel on Sunday morning and cracked a relatively new (Sept 07) crown on one of my teeth. Had to listen to my dentist bitch me out for 10 minutes yesterday... ("What are you doing to break a porcelain crown?"). Like anyone would intentionally break a tooth that cost $1500! Jerk! Alright, enough from me for now. Have a wonderful week.....

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Our Chinese New Year 09



This year we decided to celebrate Chinese New Year with Josie's preschool class. Because of snow days, our celebration was delayed until today. I will say, right here at the start, that teachers are not paid enough. After just an hour of directing the class in making Chinese Lanterns - I was beat!

We started with circle time. I read this book to the class:


(sorry for the flash glare!)

This book does a beautiful job of explaining the preparations and traditions of the Chinese New Year. It details the traditional foods associated with the holiday and their meanings. The pictures are colorful and large. Excellent for preschoolers.

Once I read the book, we moved to tables and made our Chinese lanterns. We started by decorating the paper with Chinese stamps of bamboo leave; symbols for happiness, wealth, and love; cherry blossoms; and fans. Then we used our safety scissors to cut the paper, glued the edges together and stapled on the handles.

Once the lanterns were done, I showed the kids what was inside their "Chinese take-out gift box". We gave them a tangerine (for a sweet life); a Chinese Noise maker (to wake up the dragon so he could bring on the Spring rains); a traditional 'red envelope' with a gold $1 coin inside (for wealth/prosperity); some Haw Flakes (a Chinese pressed fruit wafer/candy and two pieces of 'Good Luck' candy.

The kids were thrilled when they found out they got candy AND money. Bonus day, no doubt! We then posed for a photo while shouting "Gung Hay Fat Choy!"



Here's a final shot of Josie showing off her beautiful New Years dress:



Happy New Year!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Witnessing History



Maddie and I were two in about 2 million citizens who ventured into Washington DC today to see the inauguration of President Obama. I felt it was important that we both witness this historic event in person. Since we live so close to Washington, it wasn't much of a task. We purchased special train tickets for the Inauguration over the Christmas break. Trains were Reserved Seating only.

Every bridge going into Washington from Maryland & Virginia was closed. Every Metro station within a 2 mile radius of the Capitol was either closed or 'Exit Only'. Only buses, limousines, taxis, and official government vehicles were allowed to travel on the city streets. I cannot tell you how eerie it was to see this site:


This is the 395 (which cuts right through DC) at 2PM.

Unbelievable! We were able to grab a spot relatively close to the Capitol to watch the festivities. We were just below 3rd Street. This was the closest area the general public could watch the 'swearing in' without a ticket. If you look at next few photos, you can see the inaugural platform right behind the JumboTron. We were about 3 city blocks back from there.





This is what it looked like from where we stood:


In Front of Us



Behind Us.

Security was incredible - even for Washington. Here's a photo of the snipers on top of the National Gallery of Art:



There were sharpshooters on the roof of every building lining the Mall. On the ride up on the train, there were Dept. of Homeland Security police, TSA police, local police and police dogs patrolling the aisles of the train, the stations and the crowds waiting in line.

It was 'cold as all get out'. Air temperature was about 25 degrees with a 10-15 mph wind blowing the whole time. You would think that as crowded as it was, you wouldn't feel the wind. You would be wrong. We froze our butts off! I had on silk long underwear, a turtleneck, jeans, a polar fleece jacket and my hooded winter coat over all that. We had those 'hot hands' chemical heating packs in our pockets and shoes. Of course, the ones for the shoes didn't work and we walked like we had club feet after 5 hours of standing in the freezing temps.

But, as you might expect, the crowd was lovely. Everyone around us was polite, happy to be freezing, helpful, and downright giddy once the ceremony started. I watched a gentleman next me, with his father by his side, break into tears as President Obama took the oath of office. Women to my right hugged, with tearful eyes. It was a very emotional moment. You could hear a pin drop as the crowd listened to President Obama's speech. I was amazed. And, really thankful to live in a country where the change of government is celebrated in harmony and goodwill. I never forget that in some countries, wars are launched over election results. I could go on for hours about the funny and kind people we met today. Everyone was just incredibly thrilled to be there, able to witness history in the making. It is a day I will not soon forget.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Bloat, Sweat & Tears


Pictured above: Brady, Lisa, Heidi & Maddie - Summer '08

A really important part of my life started last February when, with a desire for fitness, I sought out a personal trainer. We have belonged to our gym since it opened in February of 07, but I wasn't getting a lot out of our membership. Sure, I'd go in a few times a week and use the elliptical machine (and the awesome Kids Zone for Josie), but beyond that, not much.

Fate brought me my darling Lisa. The fitness manager assigns trainers based on fitness goals and age - seeking to hook up client and trainer that would be a good fit personally as well as professionally. Boy, we were we a good fit! Lisa and I are of similar background and temperament. And, we were both in new & challenging chapters of our lives.

Last February, Lisa had just begun a relationship with a gentleman named Dave. At the same time, I was recovering from my decades long relationship with cigarettes. I was ready to take on a new challenge. For 3 months, Lisa and I met 3 times a week to work out. In April, she encouraged me to begin cycling classes (spinning classes, to some). I loved it! Once our sessions ended, we remained friends.

During that same time, I watched Lisa become a wife to Dave, a widower, and take on the enormous job of becoming a Step-Mom to his two teenagers. Brady & Heidi are fantastic kids who we just adore.

Our conversations revolved around the joys and challenges of trying to steer our kids through their teenaged years. Heck, sometimes we just wondered out loud how we would survive the teenaged years! In addition, while still newlywed, Dave was sent by his company to work in the Green Zone, in Baghdad. Lisa had a baptism by fire - being the sole parent left behind to manage the house and family life. She and the kids did great! After sharing many family milestones together (Maddie's graduation, Lisa's professional awards, cookouts, etc) I can truly say I have a REAL friend.

So, let me brag on my friend for a minute... Lisa was named 'Trainer of the Year' last year. She also trained the winning team in our gym's version of the 'Biggest Loser'. It was a company wide (8 locations) competition with a Blue Team and a Red team for each gym. Lisa's team lost over 300 pounds in 5 months! Her 'Loser' team and most of her other clients all met on Saturdays for the 7:15AM cycling class. I found two of her 'Losers', Skip & Ken, to be especially inspirational.

In November, our gym started another competition called 'Jump Start'. Lisa teamed me up with two seriously funny individuals, Lisa & Lynn, and we became the "Shut the Front Door" team. So named because of our predilection for 'salty' language during strenuous workouts. We worked out as a team for 6 weeks (Nov 6-Dec 14), and had a great time. I don't know how our team fared in the competition, but I was pleased with my own results - I lost 9 pounds during the competition and also posted my personal best during a 2 hour Thanksgiving morning cycling class (in 2 hours I rode 43 miles). I credit Lisa, with her never ending support and encouragement, for all the fitness improvements I've made in the past year.

I also credit Lisa with helping me make new friends and letting me see that extending myself to other people is not such a scary thing. She is an absolute lovey and someone I am so glad to have in my life.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Mom Conversations



The above photo is of my friend, Sharon and her youngest daughter, Lauryn Grace. Sharon and I met when our daughters (Josie and Meghan) were assigned to the same preschool class. You've seen photos of Meghan and Josie together on this blog - they are members of the 'preschool posse'.

I should first explain that we call the girls in the preschool class a 'posse' for a very good reason. These little girls are not a clique, they are not 'buddies' - they are truly a group of individuals that acts as a whole, with nothing but loving intentions. I have never seen anything like it before in my life. ALL the girls in this class LOVE each other. When we walk into the classroom they greet each other with hugs - no one is left out. They all light up at the sight of one another. They don't fight, they don't compete. They stick up for each other - ALWAYS. I think this is a huge credit to all of their parents who are raising these amazing girls in such a caring manner.

The Moms of our class are a funny, accomplished group with no pretense. Very easy to be around. The Dads, too, are highly visible - they come into the class to read or to teach the kids about their professions. (Our firefighter Dad was a HUGE hit during fire prevention month!) It's just a really nice place for both the kids and their parents to be...

Which brings me to the conversation Sharon and I had last night. Sharon has 3 daughters. Lauryn will be heading to preschool next year, Megan will move up to the 4's preschool and Caitlyn will be going into the 2nd grade. Sharon is a very active Mom - she's the one who organized the first 'Mom's tea/play group' gathering. She is also a volunteer at Caitlyn's school. She's the Mom that never forgets gift bags for the kids on ALL the holidays, always volunteers, always extending herself to make a new friend. I really admire her.

Yesterday we got the notice that preregistration for next year would be on January 16th. Though all of our children are guaranteed a spot, it's the days of the week that are first-come-first-served. Meaning, the 4 year olds have the option of MWF 8:30-11:30; MWF 12:00-3:00; or M-F 8:30-11:30. Sharon and I were discussing what would be best given our girls level of maturity, other family considerations and preferred days of the week. Both Meghan and Josie are ready for the 5 day program. Heck, If you asked James, he would tell you that Josie is ready to go right into kindergarten! I, on the other hand, want her to be my baby forever!

Sharon's quandary lies with what she will tell Lauryn when she sees both of her older sisters heading off to school everyday and she only goes three days... (she laughed out loud when I suggested, "Um, how about you tell her she doesn't have school on those days." ) It's apparent that I am totally ignorant to the logistical nightmare of getting 3 daughters under the age of 8 out of the house in the morning!!

While Sharon detailed her morning routine, her wish to continue volunteering, and other commitments (CCD classes for Caitlyn, ballet for all 3, etc), I tried to convince her that having Megan in the 5 day program and Lauryn in the 3 day program would give her so much more 'me' time. Time to go grocery shopping, time to volunteer, time to just sit down and read a magazine in quiet for an hour. That lead us to the 'maternal guilt' discussion.

Earlier in the day I had been listening to Dr. Robin Cook on the 'Oprah and Friends' radio station. Her topic was 'self care' vs. 'selfishness'. Dr. Robin's discussion focused on the fact that, for many women, the two are indistinguishable. A lot of women feel 'selfish' if they take that 'me' time. Even though, it has been proven, that just that one hour or half hour a day, makes us feel more energetic and able to give even more of that energy to our families.

I know how Sharon feels. When Maddie was little and I HAD to work, it was a constant internal battle. How could I be there for all the 'important' stuff in my daughter's life when I had to work 9 hours a day? How would she even know that I was her mother if other people were feeding her, caring for her? Guilt, Guilt, Guilt. Taking time for myself wasn't an option. Every spare minute I had was poured into being with Maddie. After a while, it takes it's toll.

I have always been a HUGE proponent of ROUTINE. I believe that routine comforts a child, gives them boundaries and makes them much happier & well rested individuals. What was missing from my earlier routines was that 'me' time. The time to take a deep breath. It was a while before I could incorporate THAT into my routine. It's hard. My friend, Sharon, gives so much to others - I'm convinced that she would benefit so greatly from some personal time.

Sharon & I are blessed with great husbands who are actually great Dads. Both James, and Sharon's husband, Bobby, love taking off with the kids on the weekends or helping out around the house while 'tag teaming' the child care. So, it is possible to take personal time and not feel guilty about leaving the kids behind.

We ended our conversation with more unanswered questions but I promised to help out in any way I can. Also, we acknowledged that how our kids are today is not how they will be 9 months from now when a new school year begins. They will mature, become a bit more self sufficient. Hopefully, Sharon and I will continue to build up our confidence in our ability to balance all the joys and challenges that come our way.

Speaking of 'personal time'... mines about to end as there is a little monkey child pulling on my arm. It seems I must come and play Barbies now.

Take Care.