I'd Like to Thank the Academy...

I love watching the Academy Awards. It's like watching the Prom you'll never get invited to... which means that you can mutter any comments you like and no one gets offended or hurt. Maddie and I had a few good laughs last night - we even made up a few of our own fashion categories while watching the Red Carpet coverage on E!

First our Best Dressed Women:

Ann Hathaway
Jennifer Gardner
Keri Russell
Keisha Wittaker
Penelope Cruz

Nice, but didn't make our BD list:
Cameron Diaz's dress was spectacular but, for God's Sake, why didn't she do something with that hair of hers. Looks like she threw it back in a rubber band and ran out the door. I would suggest firing the guy who thought that look was a good idea.

Heidi Klum's dress was fantastic but WHAT WAS SHE DOING THERE? She is not in the movies and neither is her husband. I know she was auctioning off the dress for charity, but couldn't they have just stuck her in the lobby of the Kodak theatre?

Best Dressed Men:

Patrick Dempsey
Javier Bardem
George Clooney
Forrest Whittaker

That all was the Good. Now it's time for the Bad and the Ugly.

Worst Dressed Women:

Rebecca Miller - Daniel Day Lewis' wife. The red ribbons at the shoulder and the black shiny breast plate on a gown just made me do a double take. It got worse every time I saw it.

Tilda Sweedon - Okay, who ever advised her to go to the Academy Awards with no mascara, no eyeliner, no eyeshadow and then told her that going in a black silk sack was fashionable - well, let's hope they've run the moron out of town by now! I have to give her props though, her acceptance speech was the funniest of the night - and that's not really saying too much about the comedic threshold this year.

Marion Cotillard
Initially, I wasn't 'feeling' the mermaid dress. Of all the embellishments to choose from Jean Paul Gautier decided to use fish scales for this design. It grew on me as the night progressed, but still wasn't among my favorites.

So, in the interest of finishing this post, I will not link to the following award winners, but if you watched the Red Carpet or the actual awards you should know where I'm coming from...

The "Sounds most like Jakers the Pig" goes to Saoirse Ronan & James McAvoy. Ms. Ronan's Scottish accent was so thick, I was laughing myself silly.

The "Give that Lady a Sandwich" award goes, once again, to Calista Flockheart. For Gods Sake, girl, EAT SOMETHING!!

The " My trainer when postal on my bod" goes to Renee Zellweger who looked more like Hans & Franz than a movie star. Somebody "pumped, her up!"

and finally,

The "incredibly Hot Older Broad" award was a three way tie:
Helen Mirren - whom I have LOVED forever (Starting with Prime Suspect all those years ago..). She looked absolutely fabulous in her red dress with crystal sleeves. Flawless and very funny.
Faye Dunaway - she didn't get much coverage, but she was a knock-out.
and
Colin Farrell's Mom - His mom (the rude announcers never asked her name!) was a stunning Irish beauty. Clear, beautiful unlined skin; incredible smile; great, age appropriate hot dress; funny. I love the comment that Colin made where he said his Mom always said (about his acting abilility) "I didn't lick it off the streets.." Sounds like something a Mom would say...

The Red Carpet was a huge let down this year. Why did everyone stay home? No Kate Winslet, No Charlise Theron, no Brad Pitt; no Jude Law; There were very few bonafide 'Movie Stars' at the awards this year. Bit of a let down.
So, anyway, that's my run-down. Feel free to leave yours in the comments section.... Have a great week!